The great equalizer
2006.04.25Death.
Just the thought of it sends shivers down my spine and into my balls, causing a few droplets of urine to prematurely ejaculate. I have heard numerous news of death as of late. My brother’s officemate’s sister was allegedly murdered about a month ago, my sister’s boyfriend’s father passed away about a week ago and my father’s friend is in a wake, inside the coffin, as of this writing. And to add some kind of morbid motivation for me to write about death are Dondino’s and Carl’s posts regarding it.
Necrophobia is perhaps the most common fear of all. Obviously, nobody wants to die. And so the thought, and reality of it, is dismissed and tucked away in the deepest recesses of the subconcious. But this truth is the most bitter of the bitter pills we need to swallow everyday. It’s inevitable and we all know someday we will end up, well, dead. I am not here to scare you or to remind you that you will die someday. I already know you know that and I also know that you know what you need to do knowing that you are, well, going to die someday.
My time will come too. And when it does, I can no longer see the different reactions of the people I love and care about. Sometimes, I get a little crazy crazy and I ask anyone (my brother, sisters, friends) if they’d cry if I died, if they’d miss me when I’m gone. To which they’d reply with a not-so-sure face that I must be out of my mind asking that kind of question. Personally, it’s a rather disappointing answer. Call me KSP* but wouldn’t it be good to know who does care about you or not?
Well, I am not obligating anyone to be all teary eyed and sobbing like a banshee when I die. There is nothing more you can do anyway — unless your tears have the power to resurrect a body without internal organs, then be my guest. What I do want is to be remembered by my good acts and deeds and not the bad ones (which is almost always the case). A simple burial would be in order and a makeshift casket will probably do just fine since I won’t be feeling uncomfortable anymore.
I better stop here. I’m starting to sound cheesy in a morbid and creepy way.
*KSP roughly translates to a person who is attention-deprived in English.
haha…whenever people talk of death at home…i just tell them i wanna be cremated - waste of real estate eh - and they just laugh it off…
…damn..nobody takes me seriously
i swear it, despite my wishes, someone will end up burying me 6 feet under, and i’ll end up like those cadavers i saw on primetime last night…
Comment by claudzki — 2006.04.26 @ 1:57
@claudzki: at least you know that they care for you. :)
Comment by ric — 2006.04.26 @ 7:25
Aren’t you a li’l too young to be thinking about death? :-)
Comment by snglguy — 2006.04.26 @ 14:53
nobody’s too young to think about death…
it’s really scary, i know. i’m not scared to die. it’s the dying that scares me. :(
Comment by ade — 2006.04.26 @ 17:48
Hmmm… death is everywhere I guess. Just today, on my way home I passed by a long line of protesters with placards. About few meters from the frontline was a funeral car carrying the remains of a slain labor leader who was shot dead by unidentified men on his way home. Some placards showed his photo lying dead, still in his shorts. He was a great man considering the many people who mourned for him and rallied for what he stood for. I think he was not afraid to die. Usually leaders who take a stand against injustice risk their very lives for a noble cause. I’ve read in a book long time ago about the fear of dying, that everybody is afraid to die because deep inside they fear that they have not yet fulfilled their personal mission here in this world, and they want to make a significant contribution as a human being before they leave this earthly life.
Comment by ideasnpink — 2006.04.26 @ 20:30
Oh btw, you’ve been tagged. Check out my Thursday post. :-)
Comment by snglguy — 2006.04.26 @ 23:17
@snglguy: hmmm … i don’t think that i am too young to think about death. we never know when it will come. and i will check out your tagging me.
@ade: yeah, that’s maybe one reason people fear death — the thought of how we are going to die.
@ideasnpink: that is one thing that i would like to accomplish in life; to leave a legacy. as i learned in philo when i was in college — to live, to learn, to love and to leave a legacy.
Comment by ric — 2006.04.27 @ 7:36
A childhood friend died (drowned in a river) a little over two years ago. When I heard the news, it was like surreal. I couldn’t believe it. Somebody I grew up with is gone. Forever. He was just two years older than me. It took a few days before his body was recovered. The night we heard the news, a female childhood friend and I talked about it. She was visibly trying to hold back tears. She said she wouldn’t believe it until she sees the body. She was in denial. And so was I. We won’t believe it until we see the body. A couple of days later, reality struck us. He was dead. Gone forever. She was sobbing all over. I was shocked. I didn’t shed a tear, not in public anyway. But I was shocked.
When you realize that somebody you’ve always been with since childhood and who is dear to you is gone forever, you think about all the days that you’ve been together and all the days that you weren’t. You wish you could have spend more time together. You regret all those silly times you fought with each other. You’ll cry in private, if not in public. My older sister died young. And so all my childhood friends were like siblings to me. He was like a brother.
When people would comment about how silly the fact that the characters of Friends sitcom would seem to converge at one place most of time, I’d say it could happen. It happened to me. When I was young anyway. My childhood friends and I would converge at one’s house almost every day. After classes during school days. The whole day and the whole evening during the summer. And when one of you dies, it’s hard not to feel a sense of great loss. Even if you seldom see each other past the age of 15, you’ll remember the time spent together from 5 to 14. Just nine years, if you really think about it. But nine years starting at age 5 is quite different from nine years starting say at age 17. Growing up together is quite different from working together. But a loss is a loss. You feel sad, regardless. You’ll shed tears, regardless. In private if not in public.
Comment by carlmans — 2006.05.02 @ 20:33
@carlmans: sorry about your sister. it really is hard to fathom a death of a loved one even if just a friend. :D
Comment by ric — 2006.05.03 @ 7:23